The Very Secret Diaries Of Band Camp?
by Frodo Princess of Darknes
Summary: writing style based on the popular story by Cassie Claire! Except this time about band camp!
1. Diary of a Drummer

The Very Secret Diary of a Drummer  
  
Day 1 - Monday  
  
Banged my drum today. Was fun.  
  
I love my drum.  
  
Day 2 - Tuesday\  
  
Banged drum for 8 hours straight! Was really fun. Arms sore though.   
  
Think have tan line from harness.   
  
Wonder if sexy mellophones will notice?  
  
Day 3 - Wednesday  
  
Banged drum more today but not feeling well. Very tired.   
  
I think mellophone players noticed.  
  
Day 4 - Thursday  
  
Do not like evil staffmember. Stands over me and growls.   
  
Tan line more prominent today.  
  
Trombone players began constructing large structure out of tennis balls. Looks like fun. Must participate.  
  
Day 5 - Friday  
  
Trombone players assigned me job of collecting balls. Go me. Collecting balls is fun. Am most efficient as can hide balls in drum.  
  
Day 6 - Saturday  
  
Was on field and couldn't find bathroom. Located evil staffmember's powerade bottle. Had brilliant notion. Will hide bottle behind goalpost until end of practice.  
  
Later...  
  
Gee... you can hide stuff in the space above the ceiling tiles. Will do so with bottle.  
  
Day 7 - Sunday  
  
Didn't bang drum today. Dang.   
  
Day 8 - Monday  
  
Am feeling much better as banged my drum like never banged it before. So happy  
  
Hope powerade bottle lasted weekend. Maybe should check. Nah, too risky. And smelly.  
  
Baritones jumped me today.  
  
Stupid baritones.  
  
Day 9 - Tuesday  
  
Think have been found out. Mellophones suddenly turned off. But met up with baritones again last night. Are better than mellophones. Go me.  
  
Day 10 - Wednesday  
  
Is raining. Roof is leaking. Isn't that where bottle was? Do not want to know.  
  
Assisted fellow drummers in sprinkling Gold Bond around drum room.  
  
Day 11 - Thursday  
  
Got yelled at by Evil Staffmember again. This time for Gold Bond incident. Trombone structure reaching amazing size. Man, that's a lot of balls.  
  
Day 12 - Friday  
  
Accidentally demolished trombone ball structure. Was not paying attention as was worried about bottle. Was too bad because was starting to look like Colossus at Rhodes. No... ok really. Never fancied nude statues anyhow. Gay guard man will miss though.  
  
Day 13 - Saturday  
  
Have been locked in practice room by nancing drum major. What have done to deserve this? Require water. None to be found. Suddenly remember Powerade bottle...  
  
Later...  
  
No! Precious is lost! Whatever shall do? Will get revenge. Will destroy Evil staffmember. Maybe has nothing to do with it but deserves it anyway. *sniff sniff* Do I smell barbeque?  
  
Day 14 - Sunday  
  
Am having withdrawals from drum banging. Side effects include... well, maybe shouldn't mention that. 


	2. Diary of a Football Player

The Very Secret Diary of a Football Player  
  
DAE 1 - MUNDAE  
  
WAS ON FEELD. RAN AFTIR BAL. WUZ FUN. PEEPUL WITH LARJISH SHINEE THEENGS KAME ON FEELD. PUTT SHINEE THEENGS ON GRAS. COCH SEZ R BAND AND SHINEE THEENGS R ENSTROMENZ. I WUNDR IF HEE MEENZ LIK A FLOOT?  
  
DAE 2 - TUZDAE  
  
THRU BAL. WUZ FUN. BAL HIT LONG BLAK ENSTROMEN. THEENK IZ A FLOOT. AXED CAPTIN TOO MAYK SHUR. CAPTIN AGREEZ.   
  
DAE 3 - WENZDAE  
  
BAND GEEX ANGREE. Y? NEVUR DID NUTHIN TOO THEM. BAND MUTHIR SEZ WIL SU MEE. WUTEVIR THATE MEENZ.  
  
DAE 4 - THIRSDAE  
  
NOTIS DRUMIR HAZ SEXXXEEE TANN LYN. THRU BAL AT HIM TOO CACH ATENSHUN. FAYLD. HIT MAD LUKING PIRSUN SCREEMING AT DRUMIR.  
  
DAE 5 - FRYDAE  
  
AXED COCH ABOWT GAYM TOONIT. SEZ THAT THARE IZ NO GAYM. MAYKS NO SENS AZ FRYDAE ALWAZ MEENZ GAYM. WIL SHO UP AT STAYDYUM TOO BEE SHUR.  
  
LAYTIR  
  
AM AT STAYDYUM. NO WUN HEER. MUST BEE AWAE GAYM. WARE THO? WIL DRIV TOO AL UTHIR SKULS TOO FYND OWT.  
  
DAE 6 - SATIRDAE  
  
AM IN FREZNOE. STIL HAV NOT FOWND GAYM. WIL KEPE LUKING.  
  
DAE 7 - SUNDAE  
  
AXED SUMWUN WARE AM. SEZ SEE ADDLE. LUKT AROWND. DIDUNT SEE NUTHIN. WUTZ AN ADDLE? REELYZT TOODAE IZ SUNDAE. MEENZ CHIRCH. MUST GOE HOM.  
  
DAE 8 - MUNDAE  
  
WUZ LAYT 4 PRACTIS. DON C HOU. AXED COCH WARE GAYM WUZ FRYDAE. LUKT AT MEE FUNEE. TOWLLD MEE TOO GIT SUM SLEPE. SED OK.  
  
DAE 9 - 2ZDAE  
  
AXED COCH WUT IN ADDLE WUZ. LUKT AT MEE FUNEE AGIN. THEENK COCH FANCEEZ MEE. HAV FANCEED HIMM 4 LONGIST TYM, BUTT AMTAYKIN BI CHEERLEEDIR, STAYZEE. IZ VERRY HOTT. MUCH LYKE MEE.  
  
DAE 10 - WENZDAE  
  
STAYZEE TELZ MEE AM NOT ONLEE HOTT, BUTT ENTELEGNT. WUT DUZ THAT MEEN? WIL AX COCH TOOMORO.  
  
DAE 11 - THURZDAE  
  
AXED COCH. LUKT AT MEE FUNEE AGEN. IZ HEE TRIEND TOO EMPLIE SUMTHIN?  
  
DAE 12 - FRYDAE  
  
SAW SEXXXEE DRUM PLAER TOODAE. IZ SOE HOTT. HAZ AMASIN SET OF BALZ WICH HEE CAREEZ IN HIZ DRUM. HE LENZ THEM TOO THUH PEEPUL WITH THUH PAYPIRKLIPPE LUKIN ENSTROMENZ. HOW GENURUS. MAE WANT TOO DUMPP STAYZEE.  
  
DAE 13 - SATIRDAE  
  
WOK UP ANT REELYZT 4GOTT GAYM LAZT NIT. GOWIN TOO LUK 4 IT. MAEBEE STIL TYM. hOP SEXXXI DRUMIR WIL BEE THER.  
  
DAE 14 - SUNDAE  
  
AM IN PLAZ CALT TEEAWANNA. NO DRUMIRZ HEER. BUTT LOTZ OF PEEPUL WITH SEXXXI HATZ. WIL DEFINITLY DUMPP STAYZEE. 


	3. Diary of a Pit Girl

The Very Secret Diary of a Pit Girl  
  
Day 1 - Monday  
  
Why am I here? Could be doing so many other things right now. Like eating. Or sleeping. Instead must be at band practice laying around bandroom. So bored.  
  
Day 2 - Tuesday  
  
Got yelled at by flip flops wearing evil Staffmember. Is rather hot. Turns out is percussion teacher. Never knew we had one. Was too busy eating Cheetos.  
  
Day 3 - Wednesday  
  
Am bored. Going to sleep now. When done, will finish pasting Wrigley's Gum wrappers to binder. Pretty silver...  
  
Day 4 - Thursday  
  
Love nancing Drum Major. Makes whimpy clarinets and whiney flutes carry heavy pit equipment. Now can nap in tuba cubby. Barely fit, but nice and cozy. Will add wallpaper later. Perhaps starburst wrappers this time.  
  
Day 5 - Friday  
  
Did hard work today. Had to actually play and then to top it all off, had to carry mallets back to band room. Am sure big toe will be sore tomorrow morning.  
  
Day 6 - Saturday  
  
Was right. Toe hurts to high heaven. Then remembered they are all big toes. That's why am in pit. Since is saturday, only awake long enough to get to practice. Tuba cubby now has own padding. Can barely fit, but worth it.  
  
Day 7 - Sunday  
  
Woke up in tuba cubby. Slept more. When could no longer sleep, looked for more wallpaper in trash can.  
  
Day 8 - Monday  
  
Am stuck in cubby. Do not know what to do. Was woken by tuba player. Took one look and closed door again. Don't suspect he will return. Oh well. Will sleep.  
  
Day 9 - Tuesday  
  
Feel slightly enraged. Was yanked out of cubby after much battle. Hurt. Am chafed. Next try trombone cubby.  
  
Day 10 - Wednesday  
  
Cannot fit in trombone cubby, but found area above ceiling tiles quite nice. Even has free drink. Tjink is lemonade. Hard to get up here so will not come down. Will sleep. Perhaps now will not be disturbed.  
  
Day 11 - Thursday  
  
Oh no. Today dropped lemonade. Whatever shall do? Will sleep on it.  
  
Day 12 - Friday  
  
Have slept. Have decided that best option is sleep. Will carry out plan directly.  
  
Later...  
  
Have been disturbed again. Am most peeved. Cleaning lady says am too fat to sleep above ceiling. Cleaning lady is too skinny. Trauma makes me tired. Will sleep.  
  
Day 13 - Saturday  
  
Have found new home under director's desk. Hope he will not notice.  
  
Day 14 - Sunday  
  
Guess what? Director noticed. 


	4. Diary of a Drum Major

The Very Secret Diary of a Drum Major  
  
Day 1 - Monday  
  
Am the Alpha and the Omega. Am king of the world. Am ruler of lowly band. Can bend all freshmen to will. Directer too. Evil Staffmember, however, is quite threatening. Soiled my white shoes then complained that I wave arms too much. Whatever. AM DRUM MAJOR ALMIGHTY!!! {dramatic lightning crash}  
  
Day 2 - Tuesday  
  
Was generous enough to give spare twinky crumbs to pathetic freshman. Was very grateful. Then remembered do not like generosity and locked freshman in abandoned baritone case. Man, I love my job.  
  
In other news...  
  
Have noticed drummer has sexy tan line. Is beginning to look more attractive than myself... maybe. Will perhaps have freshmen baritones jump him. Will see.  
  
Day 3 - Wenesday  
  
Accidentally looked band member in eye today. High and Mighty appearance totally ruined. Well, maybe is ok. Was drummer.  
  
Day 4 - Thursday  
  
Have made freshmen sing drum major anthem. Was beautiful. Have announced Drum Major Fan Club meets from 3:00 to 5:00. Wonder if anyone will show?  
  
Later...  
  
All freshmen are prostrate at my feet! May however be from exhaustion. Can't be sure.  
  
Day 5 - Friday  
  
Noticed kid watching from behind bush. Wonder if is hot? Could not tell as could only see head.  
  
Day 6 - Saturday  
  
Think freshmen plan to rebel. Today stole whistle and filled with pepsi. Will take for ever to clean to perfect shineyness again. Must find way to brainwash freshmen.  
  
Day 7 - Sunday  
  
Went to church. Saw director. Never knew was church going man. Guess makes sense as is confession day. Wonder what he confessed?  
  
Also...  
  
Went to local karaeoke bar. Note to self: Drum major anthem not good karaeoke song.  
  
Day 8 - Monday  
  
Drummer gaining too much popularity. Will definitely have baritones jump him. Also, freshmen stole whistle again. This time, covered in permanent pink marker. Just when had it shiney again too. Although pink is pretty, will work hard to fix.  
  
Day 9 - Tuesday  
  
Whistle is shiney. Yay! Baritones returned to me late last night all hot an sweaty. Drummer obviously been jumped. Acts very tired today. Not so hot now, are ya you weasel boner?!  
  
Day 10 - Wednesday  
  
Have had enough. This time whistle covered in glow-in-the-dark nail polish. Am very displeased. Slapped random freshman. Must have been tuba player as tuba section leander now on warpath. Kid was behind bush again today. Think is flirting with me. Refuse to flirt back until see rest of him.  
  
Day 11 - Thursday  
  
Seems large replica of Colossus has been erected in brass room. Man that guy is h... huge. So that's why drummer always stealing other people's balls. Hey! Those are mine! Will steal back my balls. Sure statue is now more unstable, but oh well.  
  
Day 12 - Friday  
  
Drummer has knocked over Colossus. Couldn't be my fault... Perhaps trombones will kill him. Than would no longer be threat.  
  
Day 13 - Saturday  
  
Band killed bush kid. Saw him. Was definitely not hot. Trumpet section leader pantsed director. Was wearing bandages much like a diaper. Maybe this is what he confessed? Must go. Big barbeque. Bush kid is guest of honor.  
  
Later...  
  
Bush kid set on fire and burried in pit on band field. Was fun. Then ate hot dogs. Someone even set off fireworks. Isn't that illegal?  
  
Day 14 - Sunday  
  
Cannot cope. Freshmen poured iodine on lovely white pants. Those pants were my life! Have killed all freshmen using evil staffmember as sniper. Imagine band will be considerably smaller tomorrow. 


	5. Diary of Evil Staff Member 1

The Very Secret Diary of an Evil Staff Member (Number 1)  
  
Day 1 - Monday  
  
Always wondered what was like to be staff member. Now know. Am lord and master of all band, even nancing drum major. Director pays me to torture smallish high school band nerds.  
  
Am enjoying this job.  
  
Day 2 - Tuesday  
  
Had fun making band do 200 push ups. Not in a row but spread out. Is fun to watch them pick tubas up, and then put them back down to do more push ups.  
  
Noticed certain drummer has sexy tan line. Stupid drummers always taking their shirts off.  
  
Day 3 - Wednesday  
  
Made band run mile in block today. Amused myself calling them "stragglers." Conveniently forgot to give them water break afterwards.  
  
Day 4 - Thursday  
  
Have found new best friend. Name is Dr. Beat. New friend emits painfully loud beeps and clicks at my command. Can now use Dr. Beat to drive band insane under the pretense of "keeping them in time."  
  
Will start plus drill tomorrow.  
  
Day 5 - Friday  
  
Plus drill fun, especially with new friend. Turned Dr. Beat up to 200 bpm and made band march to it. Then yelled at them for messing up. Asked why they could do plus drill at 130 bpm but not at 200 bpm. Band looked at me like I was stupid.  
  
Will make them pay for such cheek.  
  
Day 6 - Saturday  
  
Bad day today. First other evil staff member comes to me complaining. Says he can't find his powerade. Thinks I took it. Preposterous. Hate powerade; prefer gatorade.  
  
Found bottle of yellow powerade later behind goalpost, but did not comment, was so put off.  
  
Next nancing drum major came crying to me on account of the freshmen filling his whistle with pepsi. Stupid sot. Obviously doesn't know that such problems are taken to director, not evil staff member like me.  
  
Was so busy being complained to that did not get chance to punish band. Will make them pay twofold come Monday.  
  
Day 7 - Sunday  
  
Spent day thinking up creative running exercises to implement on the morrow. Go me.  
  
Day 8 - Monday  
  
Implemented creative running exercises. Go me.  
  
Stupid nancing drum major still on about stupid whistle. Is getting rather annoying. Am most put off, for underlings supposed to be reverent and humble, not annoying.  
  
Scrawny tuba player says the fat pit girl is stuck in tuba cubby. Must pause a moment to scoff. Fat pit girl could NEVER fit into tuba cubby. Tuba player a dirty liar. Will definitely coach tuba section on arc dress tomorrow.  
  
Day 9 - Tuesday  
  
Tuba player not a dirty liar. Coached tubas on arc dress anyway.  
  
Sexy drummer did not remove shirt today. Wonder why.  
  
Day 10 - Wednesday  
  
Cannot practice as is raining.  
  
Stupid rain.  
  
Day 11 - Thursday  
  
After today's torture session, observed largish DaGlo green structure in brass room for first time. Turned out to be tennis balls upon closer examination.  
  
Ah, high school.  
  
Day 12 - Friday  
  
Poked fun at alternates awhile before going off to torment trumpets. Made entire section run laps because one of them had his shirt untucked.  
  
Tennis ball structure gone. Wonder why.  
  
Day 13 - Saturday  
  
Last day of band camp. *sniffle* At least get to rule supreme three nights a week and most Saturdays until December. Do not feel so bad anymore.  
  
In celebration of last day, underlings burned nerdy-looking kid in middle of field. Then ate hot dogs.  
  
Sexy drummer absent however. Again wonder why.  
  
Day 14 - Sunday  
  
A whole day with no one to torture! Will surely go crazy. On plus side, have been hired by nancing drum major to snipe off freshmen band geeks. Go me. 


	6. Diary of Evil Staff Member 2

The Very Secret Diary of an Evil Staff Member (Number 2)  
  
Day 1 - Monday  
  
Cussing out runty high school band nerds fun. Wearing flip flops and pajama bottoms fun. Being hottest d*** staff member ever fun.  
  
In short, life fun.  
  
Drums fun too. My job to make them not fun.  
  
Will be fun.  
  
Day 2 - Tuesday  
  
Whipped drumline into shape today. One drummer has sexy tan line. Feel is encroaching on my hotness. Will make his arms tired in retaliation.  
  
Day 3 - Wednesday  
  
Pit such an irritating section. Refuse to be whipped into shape. Other evil staff member irritating too. Makes pointed remarks about how he is in charge of entire band, and I only help out with drumline.  
  
Poncy git. I help with pit, too.  
  
Day 4 - Thursday  
  
Tripped on snare drum in flip flops, ruined sexy big toe. Does not matter. Am still hottest d*** staff member ever.  
  
Stupid poncy other staff member obsessed with amplified metronome. Must make plans to murder other staff member.  
  
Day 5 - Friday  
  
Found tennis balls in hot drummer's snare drum. Decided not to inquire.  
  
Tried to whip pit into shape again. Failed. Noticed fat pit girl missing.  
  
Day 6 - Saturday  
  
Stupid poncy other staff member stole my powerade. Did not confess under interrogation. Instead told me off.  
  
Must definitely make plans to murder other staff member.  
  
Day 7 - Sunday  
  
Am most tired and deprived of powerade. Will now make plans to murder other staff member.  
  
Day 8 - Monday  
  
Fat pit girl missing at least three days. Am most peeved, as am trying to whip pit into shape and cannot when part of pit is no-show.  
  
Day 9 - Tuesday  
  
Found fat pit girl lodged in tuba cubby. Extracted her with much help from drumline. Am happy for now can whip pit into shape properly.  
  
Big toe has healed. Am now hottest d*** staff member ever. Always was.  
  
Day 10 - Wednesday  
  
Rained. Hate rain for now cannot whip drumline into shape some more.  
  
Day 11 - Thursday  
  
Idiot drumline sprinkled Gold Bond all over drum room. Some got on spare pair of flip flops. Am most peeved.  
  
Day 12 - Friday  
  
Have noticed fat pit girl missing again. Better turn up soon, or will make her carry gong to all practices.  
  
Stubbed sexy big toe. No, other sexy big toe. Stupid sexy snare drummer must learn to put drum in avoidable places.  
  
Day 13 - Saturday  
  
Now not only is fat pit girl missing, but also sexy drummer. Am most peeved. Am so peeved, will not participate in burning of nerdy kid this evening. Shall resist temptation to eat hot dogs.  
  
Day 14 - Sunday  
  
If fat pit girl still missing tomorrow, will not only force her to carry gong but also chimes and big drum thingy.  
  
Following that, will carry out plans to murder stupid poncy other staff member. Then will always be hottest d*** staff member ever. HA! 


	7. Diary of a Wimpy Flute

The Very Secret Diary of a Wimpy Flute  
  
Day 1 - Monday  
  
Sooo tired. Was forced by director and evil staff member to hold flute up for longest time. Arms close to falling off, am so tired.  
  
Day 2 - Tuesday  
  
Sectionals scary. Freshmen SO out of tune. Come to that we weren't that in tune either.  
  
Embouchure ruined over summer, cannot play high F. Am most peeved.  
  
Noticed bass drummer has sexy tan line. Wish flutes could get sexy tan line, instead of retarded golf tan hybrid.  
  
Day 3 - Wednesday  
  
Evil staff member v. annoying. Makes us run laps in block, then insults us. Fellow flute says is hot, but I disagree. Anyone that makes me run is not hot.  
  
Day 4 - Thursday  
  
Evil staff member introduced us to new best friend, Dr. Beat. Dr. Beat not hot either, as is overly loud metronome.  
  
Low reeds so bothersome. Insist on playing louder than Dr. Beat in warm-up arc. Ears been ringing for past five hours.  
  
Despise nancing drum major. Insists we help with pit. What really means is do all of pit's work so fat pit girl can nap in tuba cubby.  
  
Day 5 - Friday  
  
Marching so boring. Marched twenty minutes straight, 5 times. Am so stiff, will surely die. Flute is too heavy.  
  
Plus drill obviously too complicated for idiot freshmen. As well as rest of band. Cough. Will shut up now.  
  
Day 6 - Saturday  
  
Seems freshmen good for something. Filled drum major's whistle with pepsi. Nancing drum major most distressed. Ha! Serves him right for favoring lazy good-for-nothing pit.  
  
Am most giddy.  
  
Bur flute still to heavy for my liking.  
  
Day 7 - Sunday  
  
Did not have to worry about heavy flute as is Sunday. Now have time to paint fingernails silver to match instrument.  
  
Day 8 - Monday  
  
Back at band camp, v. tired again. Evil staff member uses us as guinea pigs for so-called "creative running exercises." Is most annoying.  
  
Freshmen never cease to amaze. Have now covered whistle in permanent pink marker. Nancing drum major ripped own hair out, then retreated to drum room to commence polishing whistle. Did not come out until end of practice.  
  
Day 9 - Tuesday  
  
Staff finally noticed fat pit girl in tuba cubby. Perhaps will make her work now?  
  
Overheard tubas calling flutes lazy and weak. Told them flute is heavy and most cumbersome. Tubas snickered. Wonder why.  
  
Don't see them calling fat pit girl lazy and weak. Instead give her home in cubby.  
  
Day 10 - Wednesday  
  
Rained today. Did not have to run. Evil staff member hung around bandroom looking v. depressed.  
  
Freshmen really starting to become amusing; whistle now covered in luminescent nail polish. Drum major becoming amusing as well - went totally spastic and slapped freshman tuba. Tuba deserved what he got.  
  
Day 11 - Thursday  
  
Am peeved. Fellow flute now dating. A TUBA! Is traitor to self and section.  
  
Tubas must have brainwashed her; can find no other reasonable explanation.  
  
Day 12 - Friday  
  
Found largish pile of tennis balls in remote corner of bandroom. Am v. confused.  
  
Caught fellow flute snogging tuba in practice room. Now am permanently scarred.  
  
Day 13 - Saturday  
  
Vented some anger on now crispy member of rival band. Has been spying on us for nearly entire band camp, am told. Wonder if he was a tuba?  
  
Flute still like lead weight; most annoying.  
  
Day 16 - Sunday  
  
Sunday equals day of rest and relaxation. Torture will recommence tomorrow, however. Stupid flute. Much too big and heavy. 


	8. Diary of an Alto Sax

The Very Secret Diary of an Alto Sax  
  
Day 1 - Monday  
  
Am Mr. Joe Cool. Before took up playing a. sax, was acne-riddled nerd with thick glasses. Acne still annoyingly persistent, but now wear sunglasses. Am most cool.  
  
Day 2 - Tuesday  
  
Lots of push ups today. Didn't mind, even though am too cool for such menial work.  
  
Drumline always think they are cooler than us. Today drummer showed off sexy tan line from harness. Uncool loser. Already have such sexy tan line, just do not show it off because of acne complications.  
  
Day 3 - Wednesday  
  
Asked flute section leader out. No real reason, just felt like it. Was turned down. Stupid flutes don't know pure uncontaminated cool when they see it. Will not waste my time on them in the future.  
  
Day 4 - Thursday  
  
Sectionals today with section leader, epitome of all coolness. Practiced near cheerleaders. Had fun teaching them new routines to fight song.  
  
Asked clarinet section leader out. Was turned down. Would ask own section leader out, except is a guy. Am too cool to imitate gay guard man.  
  
Day 5 - Friday  
  
Asked assistant drum major out. Was turned down. Am just too cool for most of band.  
  
Day 6 - Saturday  
  
Condescended to ask pit section leader out. Was turned down. Am starting to get annoyed. Have burned all my Yu-Gi-Oh! cards in fireplace, am so annoyed. No matter. Will soon find someone as cool as self.  
  
Day 7 - Sunday  
  
Am starting to regret Yu-Gi-Oh! card decision. Was challenged to duel by next door neighbor kid and had no cards to use. Oh well. Yu-Gi-Oh! cards not cool anymore anyway. Magic: The Gathering always been 10 times cooler.  
  
Day 8 - Monday  
  
Asked six people out today: trombone girl, two trumpets, sexy mellophone chick, girl from drumline, and girl from own section. Was turned down by all. Can only straighten ultra-cool wraparound sunglasses in astonishment.  
  
Day 9 - Tuesday  
  
Hung out w. cheerleaders again in sectionals. Used to think cheerleaders were dumb but now am not so sure. They seem to know I am cool. Perhaps will ask one of them out.  
  
Day 10 - Wednesday  
  
Now know cheerleaders are dumb. Obviously am too cool for them, too.  
  
Rained, so wore ultra-cool sunglasses inside. Could barely see; accidentally wandered into brass room and beheld magnificent statue. Was convinced was seeing things, so stumbled out of brass room and removed sunglasses.  
  
Day 11 - Thursday  
  
Helped trombones capture spy from enemy band. Is rather skinny and nerdy. Is now tied up in trombone cubby and getting regular visits from gay guard man. Wonder what they are doing.  
  
Am too cool for such business.  
  
Day 12 - Friday  
  
Had most absorbing game of Magic: The Gathering with bass clarinet. Won; am so much cooler than bass clarinet, is not even funny.  
  
Day 13 - Saturday  
  
Brought enemy spy out to field and used him as kindling for bonfire. Then ate hot dogs. Ooh, fireworks.  
  
Everyone happy except flip flops wearing evil staff member and gay guard man. Poncy tossers.  
  
Last day of band camp v. cool. Almost as cool as self.  
  
Day 14 - Sunday  
  
No band camp today. Have decided to ask random guard chick out tomorrow. 


End file.
